People often assume that the best way to settle a dispute is by compromising. Compromising means that disputants must give up something in order to reach an agreement. Each gets only part of what they want. Actually, there are times when all parties could have gotten exactly what they wanted and a lot faster if only they had better communicated with each other. Sometimes you really can have your cake and eat it too.

In the book "Getting to Yes," by Roger Fisher and Bill Ury, they tell the story of two children who both want the same orange and must decide what to do. After some consideration, they decide to cut the orange in half and each take and equal portion. The first child unpeels his half and eats the orange, throwing the peel away. The second child unpeels his half, uses the peel to bake with, and throws the orange away. Had both children explained what they wanted the orange for instead of simply arguing over it, both could have had exactly what they wanted instead of having to settle for only part of it.

Fisher and Ury feel that people are so concerned with getting what they want that they try to come up with ways to get it without effectively addressing and communicating why they want it. We are sure there are other instances where this kind of thinking and communicating has stalled progress. Can you think of any?

As a side note that doesn't have to do so much with communication, we present an interesting story. Henry Ford did the equivalent of using the entire orange in building some of his cars. He used the actual boxes that his car batteries were packaged in to form the floor boards of his cars.

We welcome your comments and questions.

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